A perfect mom handicaps her children
How standing back can instill confidence
It was going to be his 10th birthday, and I decided it was time for my son to be able to separate egg whites properly for his birthday cake. I’m a proponent of the law of least effort, I’m careful to keep the kitchen clean and avoid spillovers or sticky spots contaminating more kitchenware and create more clean-up work.
Yet I had mentally agreed to set aside this operating mode to instill confidence in my son. He thought he couldn’t do it. And indeed, the first egg was a disaster : he inserted his thumbs inside the egg, squashing the shell and breaking the yolk. He was ready to give up and let me do it. But I had decided the airiness of the cake was worth sacrificing for his learning, even though the itch to take over really itched.
I bit my lip as I saw my son cracking eggs and spilling a considerable amount of egg on the table. I cringed as I saw him wipe it approximately, first with paper tissue (No ! Not with that!), then with a damp cloth, and throw the cloth in the sink without rinsing it. I hurriedly rinsed the cloth, and went over the remains on the table, to avoid further “contamination”. Ah, my law of least effort took over there. Next time, I’ll invest time and have him clean up properly.
I reassured my son he could do it, and proceeded to show him : once you crack the egg, turn the cracked part upward. Then, pull the shells apart instead of squashing them. Inspect which side of the cracked egg looks less likely to tear the yolk, and let it glide from there into the plastic separator. And keep the egg over the bowl, please.
He tried my method, and it worked. Gaining confidence, he continued cracking the remaining eggs. He took his time, and I suppressed my urge to hurry him up. Finally, we only lost 2 egg whites out of 8. Those two egg whites, a bit of time cleaning, and some silent frustration on mom’s part, got exchanged for confidence.
For his 10th birthday, he got something money can’t buy. And his coconut and white chocolate cake was a success : he brought back a crumbless baking dish from school.
