How caring for my rosebush revealed how I was caring for myself

For years my rosebush has been displaying bright pink flowers.

But this year, I was in for a pleasant surprise. I thought these kinds of roses were odourless, because for years I had not discerned any smell. This is the first year they exhale a delicate perfume.

With flowers, my body and emotions react before my intellect. I don’t have to think about whether I like them: their cheering sight make my lips curl up before I even realize it.

I love touching and inhaling flowers. I would taste them too, if possible, to get a full experience. As my lips caress their outline, I listen to the gentle brushing of petals and tune in to the exceptional qualities of such luscious specimens.

How amazing to see them unfold without a single crease, yet if I tried to fold them back into a bud, they would get damaged beyond recovery.

They are both beautifully vulnerable and strong.

And this year, in addition, they were fragrant. I paused to think.

What did I do differently this year ? I took better care of my rosebush. I pruned it earlier and I started watering it before the flowers came out.

Yes, I have been guilty of overlooking plants when they aren’t flowering. As if they were of no interest, or didn’t have a right to my attention before producing what pleased me. I realize I unconsciously felt treated like that — going unnoticed because I hadn’t blossomed yet. Come to think of it, I also seemed to have treated myself that way, ignoring some aspects of self-care because I didn’t feel entitled to them, yet.

Who buys a plant which isn’t flowering yet if there isn’t at least a picture of what they can expect ? The answer would be very few people — only those who know what kind of plant it is and what it will look like after caring for it.

How I have longed for someone like that to come along and nurture me into unfolding my petals of potential.

Dismayed by the waiting, I sought out help. I got assisted by my coach, but not in the helpless way plants wait for external intervention.

The journey has been so enriching. I have learned to water myself. Give myself permission to care for myself, to answer the question, « What do I need right now ? » and act upon it.

New growth has branched out of my rosebush and I am confident the culmination of a glorious display isn’t far away. Because the environment is favourable, the conditions are met. I have started to care for myself, emitting the message that this is how I want to be treated by others, too.

This year, I will not stay odourless like my rosebush for the past few years.

I now express my needs and I do something about them. This year, I will start exhaling the scent of vulnerability and strength.