Making a lasting impact with a gift : what my 9 year old son taught me
One winter Wednesday afternoon, my 9 year old son came back from school telling me he wanted to buy his teacher a flower. « She said she likes flowers », he told me, « how much does a flower cost ? »
« For a single flower, a few euros will do », I replied. So after his football workout, we went to the flower shop. He chose a plump red rose, and paid with his own money. He was excited to see his teacher’s reaction the next day. Miss was delighted and expressed her appreciation on the teacher-parent app.
Fast-forward to July, the end of the term.
My friend and kindergarten teacher dreads receiving end-of-year gifts from well-meaning parents. Because they’ll almost always fall into three categories : mugs, flowers, and chocolates. While a single gift is fine, coming home with the equivalent gifts of 20 kids proves challenging.
She already has so little cupboard space (did anyone think of that?). Flowers are nice when she’s not leaving on holiday right after the term — but it’s a pity to receive so many in one go. Finally, she’d rather not have a chocolate overdose… Ah well, her kids will help prevent that.
Parents want to express appreciation and that’s fine — but it would be nice if they would think their gifts — and timing — through. The problem is, as everyone rushes through the school year, that the end of the year is the last chance of expressing appreciation — as next year, the teacher changes.
That last day of school, as we discussed my son’s results with his teacher, she told him she had sprayed his now-several-months-old flower with lacquer in order to preserve it.
Looking at the table with gifts, I realized my son was the first student to ever offer her a flower — this was her first year as a teacher.
She is bound to forget the customary end-of-term gifts. But she won’t forget the unexpected, sweet act of her appreciative student. As proud as I was of his excellent results, I was even more pleased to realize that he stood out from the rest with this small, well-timed attention.
He picked up what she liked.
He didn’t wait for a special occasion.
He imagined how happy she’d be.
He scored a winning point.
I started reflecting…
About unexpected vs. customary gifts.
About just wanting to please or feeling you owe.
About heeding a person’s preferences or relying on general, impersonal gifts.
Does my gift say “don’t forget me” or “I didn’t forget what you like”?
Wishing you the joy of offering meaningful attentions.
