Mopping up my emotions
How cleaning the floor helped me process them
The water turned dark grey after just a few mops. You can tell I’m not very regular in cleaning the floor. Oh, I’ll hoover twice a week, or more, if needed (thanks Mom and Dad for the Dyson!).
But wash it with water? Let’s say that’s an area of procrastination. It doesn’t help that the tiles camouflage most stains thanks to their speckles. This last November morning my mood was somber and I figured it would help to freshen up the house.
My 10 year-old son didn’t want to go to school, and faced with his negative emotions, my own spirit took a plunge. I took a deep dive, wondering how I could help him while I hadn’t figured out how to help myself. It’s just life, you have to accept that sometimes you have to go places you’d rather not, put up with people you’d rather avoid, get bored, and learn stuff you’ll never use. That doesn’t sound very motivating though.
When he finally left for school and I started cleaning the floor, unexpressed sadness and disapointment from my own childhood years started to well up and fill my eyes. Like the floor, I try to manage my emotions by hoovering as soon as they become too visible. But some of the stains they leave on my heart call for a good splash of tears to get them unstuck. And just like Bing Bong in Inside out, I felt better after a good cry.
I rinse the floor. The water is now light grey. There is still work, and it won’t be perfect this time. But already, I feel better. Hey, I should do this more often!
